I’ve been an extremely blessed individual. I have A LOT of people I call friends. But within that realm of friends are degrees. There are a few people I call my best friends. They are the ones who have seen me at my worst and loved me the most, or vice versa. I don’t measure my friends on wealth, social status, or how I think they represent me. Instead, I look at the basis of who they are, what they are doing in their lives and how they treat others. I am never so presumptuous as to think I should judge them. I’ve not walked in their shoes, so I don’t know all I think I know.
But this blog isn’t about me, it’s about them. It’s about the people that love me. And I mean they really love me. I’m not bragging, I’m simply stating fact. I’m not easy to love. I come with a lot of baggage. I’m opinionated, outspoken to a fault and have no problem calling a spade a spade. That doesn’t make for easy relations, especially among females.
Yet, despite all my inadequacies I find myself surrounded by the same loving people. I’ve been rejected by family, lovers and a myriad of others but some people just stick. Those that stay, ironically enough, have seen me in far worse condition than those who have bailed. So what does that tell you?
Recently, someone I thought was my best friend kicked me to the curb. There’s no denying the pain involved. I’m pretty sure I hurt worse now than at any point during my divorce. But I have been praying. I believe God will absolutely NEVER take something from you that He either doesn’t restore or bring something better. So, I have immersed myself completely in that faith. I’ve drowned my pain in the total belief that God will make a way where there is no way.
Do I still hurt? Absolutely. It is going to hurt for a VERY long time. But this post isn’t about the person who hurt me. It’s about the people that picked me up after the person who hurt me discarded me. Without me having to explain myself, those who love me most just simply knew. They spent less time trying to pry out of me the source of my pain and more time just investing in me. Which has made me a better person and brought to me a new awareness of the definition of friend.
A true friend isn’t someone who is in the relationship for status or to make themselves look better. They aren’t even there to give you things. They aren’t there to tell you, “Oh, poor baby” if you’ve screwed up. No, a real friend will ask for clarification if what you said doesn’t make sense. A real friend will believe the best in you when you are at your worst. A real friend will absolutely never be a fair weather friend. And most of all a real friend doesn’t give up on you. A real friend will absolutely never bail on you. Regardless of how much someone says they love you, their actions are like thunder in the face of their words.
Don’t get discouraged if you can’t find my definition of a real friend in your life. As long as you can identify the half-hearted ones then your battle is half over. Real friends aren’t in abundance because to be a real friend you must be invested and willing to get dirty. But the first step to finding a real friend is to first be one.
So, here’s to you all of my real friends and my friends, those who are on their way to becoming real friends and those in need of a real friend. I love you all and I’m always closer than you think. I’m ready to be your real friend at any moment.